This is definitely not our beagle

Via Leigh Alspach

Big2Show Fantasy Football Preview -- RBs

Joe and Dan are at it again:

Possibly the Greatest Thing Ever

Darth Vader riding a chipmunk. Enough said. Via Gizmodo.

Big2Show Fantasy Football Preview -- QBs

This weekend, I helped my good friends Dan Strafford and Joe Pisapia over at The Big2Show with the first of their Fantasy Football preview vidcasts. Check out their coverage of QBs below:

Misanthropic Facebook observations

Your child does not represent you in your profile picture, or in a court of law.

You know those people who post things like "Life is so hard right now. Everything seems dark and I wish something would happen to turn on the lights and make everything ok."? Those people are always looking for a response from someone specific (via Joey Manley).

True fact: 94% of all pictures posted on Facebook include at least one person who regrets doing what they are depicted doing in the picture.

I do not care about your child's bowel movements, even if they occurred on the potty. Like that's some big accomplishment. I've done that for years and only have an accident 2 or 3 times a month. Tops.

If you're so bored you feel compelled to post about it, it's probably because you're spending too much time on Facebook.

It's weird that your siblings appear above your spouse in your profile info.

True fact: Dan Rather is the person responsible for deciding what qualifies as 'Top News.'

I will never repost this status message.

I'm pretty sure it is a violation of federal HIPPA privacy guidelines to post information about your medical condition on your wall.

We had a Farmville once. Then the rains stopped. We headed for Californie looking for work, but there was none to be found. Now we have a Hooverville.

True fact: No one has ever responded 'yes' to a Facebook event invitation.

I will wind up with fewer friends than I presently have as a result of this post.

The Business Bestsller: A Recipe

Introduction

Hey, you're a highly successful, awesome executive, right? Like a lot of highly successful, awesome executives, you probably have this problem. Not to fear: I've worked as a management consultant for 25 years and have developed techniques to deal with just this sort of problem. They will not only make you a more effective manager but will also let you achieve that illusive state of work/life balance and wicked, screaming project planning orgasms.

Interstitial 1

Out-of-context quote from an historical figure that seems to be eerily supportive of the author's thesis.

The Insight

My [careful and exhaustive study / perusal of a Wikipedia entry] has lead me to the surprising conclusion that [the martial art of karate / thought of the Logical Positivists / ancient folkloric practice of Tibetan Yak Dancing] has surprising applications for the contemporary human resources professional.

Interstitial 2

Out of context quote from a well-known author or sports figure that seems only tangentially related to the subject at hand.

The Method

Never more than three core principles, each of them seeming just obvious enough that it feels intuitive but phrased in such a way that it appears terribly unique and insightful. Intersperse these with testimonials from ordinary people who have practiced these techniques with great success but do not, in fact, exist.

Interstitial 3

Highly relevant quote from someone the reader has never heard of and turns out to be the author's collaborator on a prior book.

Conclusion

Extended case study of the most successful and widely-known adherents of the author's approach, demonstrating that you too can be the CEO of a major airline if you religiously practice the techniques you've just learned, attend Harvard Business School and are born to a father who owned a majority stake in a major airline.

Following Guest

It used to be when you were the next person on line and suddenly it was your turn, the person behind the counter said "May I help the next customer, please?" I liked that. It was succinct, accurate, polite and respectful.

Somewhere along the way it became simply "Next customer!" Now it was a command, not a request. No longer polite, but still clear and accurate.

Then we got "Next guest!" That's when I started to have a problem.

I'm not your guest. We are conducting a business transaction. I have different expectations of someone who is providing me with a good or service in exchange for money than I do of someone who is providing hospitality to me out of a spirit of friendship and benevolence.

In the last couple of months, I've detected the beginnings of a transition to "Following guest!"

First of all, what a complete 180-degree flip of the perspective of customer service. From my perspective, I'm about to be served: I'm next. It's only from your perspective behind the counter that I'm 'following', i.e. I'm the new schmuck after the previous one in the uninterrupted chain of schmucks that marches up to your counter. I guess that's the message the people in management who came up with the customer service script wanted to send. OK: duly noted.

Secondly, I'm not being lead to you by the random stranger who happened to wind up on line in front me. Our relative positions in no way imply a relationship of leadership or stalkerism. I don't follow anyone.