Most politicians: a pack a day smoking habit
Hillary Clinton: going from 1 to 1.15 packs per day
What even Hillary's strongest supporters think she is: going from 1 to 1.15 packs per day but also going for a light jog
What Trump's more naive supporters have convinced themselves he is: removing cigarette from mouth and inserting a spoonful of plain old (but definitely vanilla) yogurt
Old version of what Trump actually is: trading in pack a day smoking habit for full blown heroin addiction
Improved version of what Trump actually is: removing cigarette and inserting a lit sick of dynamite while trying to convince others that this is beneficial to one's health
What the more self aware Trump supporters think they're doing: removing cigarette and inserting a lit sick of dynamite while trying to convince others that this is beneficial to one's health
Bernie Sanders: a humidor full of secondhand Cuban cigars that someone has failed maintain the proper moisture level in
Jill Stein: That which one finds in the ashtray after all the Bernie cigars have been smoked
Obama: A pack of Marlboro Lights that, due to the fact that it is being followed by Trump and Hillary, is mistaken for a green salad.
Gary Johnson: weed
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